MY DEAR IMAGINARY FRIEND…

I wish I could tell you that life is perfect with a bubbly spirit but…I’d be lying to myself if I did. As much as we kid ourselves into believing that life is unfair, it just doesn’t change. It is the way it is right now because that is just how it should be-given the circumstances caused by our actions and attitudes.

My sister passed away today. She had AIDS. She was in so much pain and so was I because there was nothing I could do to change the situation and her attitude towards it. I am glad she is at peace now, although my heart is aching because life didn’t have to turn out this way. All it takes is one bad decision. Just one…and you’re gone…Last week I felt that she was leaving soon. I just broke down at work and felt embarrassed because I wanted to keep my problems to myself and not have to expose them in a professional environment. I kept trying to control my emotions saying, “Kgomotso! Just relax!!! Don’t entertain these negative emotions…just except things as they are.”

Seeing her like that…her system couldn’t even take food in anymore-never mind the fact that she refused to take care of herself and eat properly. When I was growing up, I looked up to her so much. It was so hard to except that that was her…She just changed when I got older. We are all going to die. I wonder how strong I will be when it’s my time.